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Diary of Enikan 2 – Visual Reality – A Grasshopper And Leaves?

 So today, while I was driving at dusk thinking about the day ahead and trying to talk to my maker, the master and creator of the universe. Suddenly, apparently out of nowhere, something darted across the road before me and that cast the dye for this written soliloquy. How wrong we are sometimes about what we believe we see. Although, we believe we know and sometimes are certain of what we think we see, in reality, probably we are not. How often erroneous assumptions pervade our consciousness and take root therein almost obliterating objectivity. Although, we hold steadfast onto particular conceptions, nonetheless it is not always a case of – it always is – therefore it is… In retrospect, how wrong I probably was, when I marveled then in unwavering certainty and jocular manner about the grasshopper that skipped across the road before the wheels of my car. I considered how extremely lucky it was, to make it across the street just in the nick of time, thankfully. I drove onward and wondered where it was coming from, where it was going. Its apparent and fleeting skipping reminded me with fond nostalgia of a song I used to sing when I was in primary school – Grasshoppers, three a fiddling went…  Singing to myself, I continued on my merry way. A short distance later, up the hill, I came upon a carpet of fallen leaves and a little gust of wind in accord with the day’s elements lifted two and caused them to skip across the road before me, almost in unison. Yes, not unexpectedly, because of the elements … but now bewilderment engulfed me. Which was playing games on me, my eyes or my mind. After prior firm belief that it was a grasshopper I had seen earlier, uncertainty now pervaded my consciousness. Hence, after observing the two leaves rise and land almost in alternating equidistant spaces across the road similar to my unforgotten grasshopper, certainty was since replaced by ambivalence, to such extent that I doubted the veracity and confidence of what I thought I had most assuredly seen a few minutes ago. Concerning the leaves, they were clear and distinct because as they crossed, the dusk was lifting, and the beam of my headlamps illuminated their forms. Consequently, without human doubt I knew, or did I deduce, that they were leaves. Was I sure about what they were because I believed undoubtedly that they were leaves, undoubtedly because I had seen them or was this somewhat a resultant deduction because I seen a carpet of fallen leaves before the two leaves in motion. Of the leaves can I now be absolutely certain. And of the first encounter  … was it a grasshopper or a leaf…

YemilBenjoy ©

 

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Diary of Enikan

So today, considering the accumulation of time translating into my age, I decided to sit and ponder about life… And figure out where next, and why. But then my contemplation, as would sometimes evolve from the best intentions, took a detour and centered squarely upon my youth and what my first recollection was. Probably that was where I was destined to explore, maybe it was not. Nonetheless, I found myself on that intriguing journey and embraced it. How early in life could I recall anything about my existence and what impact did the event have on the course and the next chapters of my journey. Oddly, as I ventured deep into this self-imposed exercise, to my elation, I was comforted by the retrospective view, not because all the unfolding scenes were of pleasant description but because the challenge forced me to inquire deep into the labyrinth of the mind and the recesses of time to interestingly extract from apparent conscious oblivion, that which was powerfully present once but now embedded in the past.

How time fades the past into the forgotten, only to be retrieved somewhat by deliberate measure. Undeterred, I continued down each nostalgic lane and was gratified that the fog of memory parted sufficiently to reveal the crossroads of possible recollection and the impossible to retrieve. I lingered at that juncture in that early decade, made acquaintance again with my young self and marveled at what my life entailed at that time. Oh, how blissful the carefree days of early youth. The cryptic irony being, I did not appreciate the idyllic nature of life as it was then, as much as I appreciate it now.

Well, let me pause with the present introspection, and resume it soon.

Yemil Benjoy ©

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